In the past we have been taught to negotiate using the win-lose and win-win technique. Both techniques are made to favour your outcome ultimately, however the Dalai-Lama has a new technique: the ‘one-win everything’ – the more peaceful and thoughtful way to negotiate, where togetherness and compassion will ultimately bring us closer to world peace.

The One-win everything way of negotiating means that everyone wins. Literally everyone – me, you, society, the entire world. You get exactly what you want but so will everyone else, and in addition you are making the world a better place. Keep reading to find out how.

Step 1 – Smile

It is good to always smile, have a sense of humour and make friends because at the end of the negotiations you will be doing business together.

Step 2 – Sit together

Sit together on the same side of the table because when you sit across from others you might be seen as a challenger. Remember that you are on the same team. If possible, use a glass table and always show your palms. This will show transparency and closeness, the key to friendship.

“I defeat my enemies when I make them my friends” – Dalai Lama

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Step 3 – Find out what problems they want to solve

Listen to the other side’s needs, find out what they are trying to fix and offer to genuinely help them.

Step 4 – Never get angry

Remember to never take anything personal. Someone might offend you but it’s only temporary – take deep breaths and calm down and always think ‘one-win everything’.

Step 5 – Ask “how does this affect the rest of the world”?

If the deal you are negotiating for is a win for all, great! If not find out how to make it one. If there is no way, simply walk away.

“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson” – Dalai Lama

Step 6 – Start over if someone is rude

Remember step 1, smile and start over. You cannot let other influence you negatively, instead try to influence everyone in the room positively with your positive energy.

“Someone else’s action should not determine your response” – Dalai Lama

Step 7 – Never say no

Saying no sometimes can be a bad negotiation move. Dalai Lama instead suggests you say “yes, if” and then offer an impossible contingency. This way you are not really saying no but they will ultimately have to say no themselves because of your impossible demand.

In conclusion, the Dalai Lama says “There is no hundred per cent winner, no hundred per cent loser – not that way but hand-and-half. That is the practical way, the only way”

I discovered this negotiating technique through Richard Branson on his blog post on Virgin Entrepreneur

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